You Encounter a Monster

What month is it? I am so confused.

“The Seasonal Spook let out a waft of Super Sour Breath! The party has been poisoned…”

You’re likely to find colonies of Arachno-Bombs in hot, dry industrial areas where sparks are commonplace.

The next day you’re likely to find a charred mess. Such is the life cycle of the Arachno-Bomb.

“The Arachno-Bomb’s fusetweb has run out! KABOOM! The party takes mortal damage.”

Made from the latest dumpster tech.

“The Alleybot shuffled forward. The Alleybot fell over.”

I don’t care what he calls himself, that dude is clearly a raccoon.

“The Trash Sneak used a ‘throw some trash right in your stupid face’ attack!”

Creates versions of enemies you have already fought with different color schemes.

“Le Palette Swappe indignantly offers another creation for your admiration! … The Obnoxious Laugh approaches! The Ill Spectre draws near!”

In a thrilling example of art imitating life, this is the otherworldly being that visits artists who would rather sit on their butts playing video games meant for children all day rather than do something with their lives.

“The Anti Muse couldn’t really think of an attack.”

Behold the hypnotic stare of the unpickled pickle.

“You are in the grasp of the See Cucumber’s hypnotic gaze. You’re compelled to switch to an all-meat diet.”

All this guy wants to do is make time-related puns. It’s written all over his face.

“The Clock Ghost speaks.

‘Now is the hour of your discontent!’

‘Ask not for whom the bell tolls…’

… the party suddenly felt nauseous.“

Based on 1,000 true stories.

“The Clumsy Cleaver appears to be more focused on your thumb than keeping itself balanced…”